


I Have To Go Back

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Episode: s03e03 A Wanted (Inhu)man, F/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 17:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5057578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bobbi heard those five words, she felt the entire world shatter beneath her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I meant to post this after episode three, but life got in the way so here it is now.Episode Four shall have a fic soon, but for the moment... Hope you all enjoy. There's also a chance I used Skye, not Dasiy and if you see something I don't, please feel free to point it out.

"I have to go back!"

When Bobbi heard those five words, she felt the entire world shatter beneath her. It took her a moment to get her bearings, to understand what Jemma was saying.

"Back?" was all that Bobbi could manage. "You want to go back?"

Jemma shook her head. "No. Yes. I _have_ to go back."

"Why?" Bobbi asked, taking a step forward which resulted in Jemma taking one back. "I have to."

And that's when the spirit in Jemma broke. "I have to."

It was barely a whisper, that Bobbi nearly didn't hear it. "Jemma," she began cautiously, taking another step forward when her phone buzzed. 

Jemma panicked. Raising her hands in front of her, to protect herself. Her eyes were wide with fear, and her breathing was becoming more and more laboured. "Jemma," Bobbi said but it feel on death ears.

"No, no, no, please," Jemma begged, crouching in the corner. "Please."

"Jemma?" There was a voice in the far corner of the room. Daisy. Bobbi tried to catch her eyes, motioning for her to leave. 

But Daisy didn't noticed, taking another step into the lab. "Jemma?"

As Daisy made her way through the lab, she hit a stool, knocking it onto the ground, Jemma turned with such speed.

"Shit," was all Bobbi could say, as everything happened in a spilt second.

Daisy stopped, holding her hands up to show she was unarmed as Jemma turned to face her, panic written in her eyes. Jemma, meanwhile had her arms up, in defence.

A scalpel in her hand. A scalpel that she had lifter from the table beside her, using it as a weapon.

The look of panic in her eyes was one that Bobbi knew well. She didn't know she was here, safe. She thought she was in danger and her survival instincts kicked in.

"Jemma," Bobbi said, her voice both authoritative and soft at the same time. Jemma looked back towards Bobbi, the blade still in her hand. "Jemma, you're safe."

Jemma shook her head, refusing to believe she was safe. This was a hallucination, just another hallucination. The planet, the creatures who lived there.

"Get Fitz," Bobbi mouthed to Daisy, who nodded then left the lab, running.

Which didn't help as well as Bobbi though. Daisy wasn't as light in her feet as Bobbi had hoped, and her footsteps running of into the distance seemed to trigger something in Jemma.

Jemma tried to run, but before she could get far, Bobbi had her arms wrapped around the smaller woman's waist, preventing her from fleeing.

And Jemma fought, trying to struggle out of Bobbi's grip. "Jemma," Bobbi said, "Jemma, you're safe."

What came next caused Bobbi to loosen her grip on Jemma, and Jemma to sprint out of the lab. A scream tore from Jemma's throat. Bobbi didn't know anyone could scream like that, never mind this tiny Brit.

All Bobbi could do was watch as Jemma ran out of the lab and straight into...

Fitz.

Into his arms.

She fell backwards onto the floor, crying, begging for someone, something, not to hurt her. "Jems?" Fitz questioned, wondering what had happened to cause Jemma to have such a major panic attack like that.

He knelt down to her, where she was now huddled down in a ball. "Hurt me," was all she could manage before burying herself in his chest, grabbing onto his shirt as if it were a lifeline to this world, which in a sense it was.

"I'm gonna take you back to the room," he whispered, stroking her hair. "And we're gonna lie down okay?"

She nodded, her grip on the scalpel never loosening. And Fitz didn't question it. 

***

When Fitz tried to leave the room that night, she didn't let him, gripping onto his hand.

"Stay," she whispered.

He nodded, sitting back down on the bed. She lifted her head, resting it on his thigh like she did that first night she was back.

"You're safe," he whispered, and she nodded, tears in her eyes.

She wasn't safe. Not really.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So amazingjemma asked for a second chapter... Here it is. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy. Mistakes are possibly due to phone.

After the incident in the lab, Jemma barely left her room and the worries the team had about her only grew. 

Bobbi had explained to Fitz what Jemma had said, her desire to return to the planet. This threw him. Jemma has said nothing of the planet, except the basics and how it was hell to him, and now she wanted to return. 

She was probably suffering more than the team knew. More than they had noticed. 

It wasn't until Fitz and Daisy found her notes that they finally confronted her about it. 

"Jemma," Fitz began, taking small footsteps into her room, so as to not startle her. "Why?"

Jemma looked up from her notebook, her gaze landing on Daisy. "Not with her here."

Fitz looked at the other woman, her face ashen. Fitz shrugged apologetically. Daisy just shook it off. She was hurt, there was no denying that, but this was between them two, there was no reason for her to interupt. If Jemma only wanted to talk to him, she should.  

When Daisy was gone, all Fitz could do was ask one word. "Why?"  

"I'm not safe."

Fitz shook his head. "Jemma, you are. You're safe. You're here and nothing can hurt you again."

"It can. That's why I need to go back. You're all in danger here. You're all at risk when I'm here."

Another shake of his head. "You're not there anymore  You're here and safe."

Jemma swallowed. Here may have once been safe, but it wasn't, not anymore. 

Not since she came hone and brought it with her

She had endangered them all. 

Bobbi.

Mack.

Hunter.

May. 

Coulson. 

Fitz. 

And Daisy. 

Especially Daisy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the fact it's short. Hope you enjoyed anyway and thanks for reading. Marvels own all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! More of this!! Justahint asked for more, so here it is. Because this was written before Will, there shall be no Will in this. Much thanks for all the support, I hope you enjoy.

Jemma Simmons was a danger.

She was a danger to them all.

And that danger that she was, that was going to kill them all.

Hasty shoving the few necessities that she needed in her backpack, she kicked the drawer closed. Hopefully no one would be awake. 

And hopefully Fitz would forgive her for what she was about to do.

Jemma picked up the passport and the bordering pass that she had, and replacing them with the note that she had left/

Jemma Simmons didn't even make it to the airport.

***

"Jemma," Fitz whispered. "She's gone."

"Shit," Bobbi said, rising from her chair. "Where she's gone?"

Fitz shrugged, there was no indication of where she was going on this note. Bobbi left the room, trying to find Hunter. He would know what to do. 

Daisy was already on her laptop, trying to find Jemma's recent transactions.

Fitz was panicking, Jemma was fearing from everyone's safety on the base and this was causing her to make rash decisions.

"Hunter's gone as well," Bobbi said, coming back. "He must have seen her leave."

Fitz ran a hand through his arm, tears starting to form in his eyes. 

Daisy, meanwhile, had not only Jemma's transactions up but was also reviewing the security feed. "She left at one, and Hunter left five minutes later. So wherever Jemma is Hunter should hopefully be there."

"Phone him," Fitz all but begged. "Please."

Bobbi nodded, reaching into her pocket for her phone.

***

The snow was dancing down from the sky, chilling him to the bone, and that's when he found her, curled up in a doorway.

"Jemma," he said, breathing a sigh of relief and running towards her. "Why?"

She sat up, and rubbed her eyes. She didn't know how long she had been asleep for, and she wasn't she wanted to know. "It's going to hurt you. All of you."

This. Again.

"So you though that running away was the best option."

Jemma's shoulders half-heartily rose before falling. He sat down beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 

"I know this is hard, British," he offered. "But it'll get easier. I swear."

"But..." she began, not knowing where to go next. "No one has escaped it before. It's never lost it's prey before and now it had."

Hunter wiped away a tear that was streaking down her face. "The portal's gone, okay. And if by some chance that bastard does make its way to Earth, it's gonna have a hell of a hard time trying to get to you. It has to go though all of us, and then Fitz. And I'm just saying that I wouldn't wanna cross him when it comes to you."

Jemma's lips rose in a half smile, offering her thanks to Hunter. She still felt uneasy, and she would still, but that reassurance from Hunter made everything feel slightly better, that everyone would protect her from that hell beast.

Everyone had reassured her that she was safe, but no one had offered her the reassurance that she would still be safe if the worst came.

"Now come on British," he said, standing up and offering her hand, "Lets go for a drink."

Jemma laughed, accepting his hand. "It's seven in the morning."

Hunter shrugged, "Somewhere in the world it's seven at night and we could be sipping cocktails in the beach."

"Watch it you," she retorted, feeling the knot in her stomach loosen slightly, "You don't wanna cross Fitz when it comes to me."

"Too true, British, too true."

 ***

How Hunter found a twenty four bar surprised no one, at this point. What ever Hunter did surprised no one. They just learnt to accept it.

But when Bobbi passed on the message that she was save, Fitz could not be more thankful for it, and seeing her there, drinking a beer at eight in the morning, he couldn't help but run to her, and take her in his arms.

"Don't do that again," he whispered into her ear, and she nodded. "You scared me."

Silent tear of both joy and guilt started to stream down her face.

Whatever happened next, whatever hell that they faced, she had people who loved her around her.

Who would defend her to their last breath.

That though, however, quickly left Jemma Simmons as her lips meet Fitz's and they enjoyed their first kiss, in some run down bar in the early hours of the morning, with a cheering Hunter behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE NEED MORE BRITISH BROTP IN THIS SHOW THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'm still not saying if the hell beast is real and is coming for Jemma, or if it's all in her mind. That's up for you to decided.   
> Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoyed this. Marvel owns all.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay? Nay? Thanks so much for reading, I really hoped you enjoyed it. Marvel owns all.


End file.
